to be or not to be

Dear Lily,


Congratulations! Romance finally is approaching you.


Your last mail tells me that your summer job was a happy affair financially and in terms of gaining social experience. You ate well, the money was good and the kid obedient. You can afford a mobile now, I bet. Oh, I use no mobile.


I am not experienced in romance. In fact I have been quite clumsy with it. Haha. Still I believe it is your decision. To be or not to be is YOUR question. However, this is how I feel. Hope it is of some help.


Be true to yourself. Your decision is based on how you feel towards the boy. If you really like him, say yes. Otherwise, say no. But life is not this simple.


First of all, initial feelings are not always true. If you reject him now, you might regret it in 10 years, when you will find him successful in everything. Haha. So it takes time for you to try to understand him a bit better. A hasty decision could be wrong. Take your time. I talked about a similar problem in one of the blog entries titled “To T.”. If you are interested, read it there.


Secondly, learn to say NO politely and firmly. Once your mind is made and this guy is to be rejected, remember to do it properly. It does no harm to be polite. The boy is sincere to you, I am sure. I was just him about 18 or 19 years ago. Haha. I fell in love with a girl, my first love. But the trouble was that she had no feeling towards me. But she was polite and I think she did it in the right way. Haha. You are just like the girl who rejected me. Life, life, life! Say it firmly and do not meet his request because you have pity on him or because you feel you might hurt him if you said no. Love is not pity and, in love stories, someone has to hurt and someone has to be hurt. And young people grow and learn from such hurts. So, if you say no, say it firm, girl.


Whichever decision you might make, I wish you all the best. You are no longer a teenager, girl. And sooner or later you will end up with a man. This, and your first such encounter, is a very good chance to learn about man-woman relationships. Good luck.


Your written English is getting better and better. I am not lying or flattering you. Errors are getting fewer and idiomatic sentences are here and there in your letter. Besides, you are putting humour into your writing when you say, “The only trouble is that you are not updating your blog fast enough.” Humour is an indispensable part of any language, especially English. Congratulations. Keep learning and keep practicing.


I noticed you are starting to use WORD, part of the Microsoft Office programme. WORD is a powerful tool of writing. First, write your script on WORD. You will find it gives you advice on spelling and grammar and style while you are keying sentences along. After you finish your script, read it and check it some times before you copy it onto the clipboard. Then you can paste it anywhere you like on the computer. Of course, you could also edit and format what you have written on WORD. Learn to use WORD more and you will write even better. Learning to use a computer software programme is just like getting to know your potential partner. It takes time. Haha. The more you get to know it/him, the more useful and attractive you will find it/him to be.


This mail is about your privacy. But if you do not mind, I will post it on my blog as the latest entry. Tell me by email if I can do so. If you agree, I will change your name and keep your identity hidden before it is posted there.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing.


Good luck.


Yours ever,



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